It’s April. We are near the end of the school year. Kids have spring fever and teachers have less hair with standardized testing bearing down on them.

And, that’s just what is going on at school. If you’ve been following this series, you know there is more than that going on in teacher’s lives.

My Secret Life

The Secret Lives of Teachers: Part I explains the beginning of my and my wife’s infertility discovery and The Secret Lives of Teachers: Part II gives the beginning details of our process through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). If you haven’t already, I ask that you click the links to understand some of the secrets that teachers teach through.

Part III is an update on where we stand.

From 31 eggs on extraction day, my wife and I have 3 embryos frozen until our transfer day.

What’s Wrong With Me?

While the tests we endured could not determine why we were unable to conceive, our doctor informed us that there was a clear issue when only THREE of our embryos survived.

Those are simple words to put to page, but I can’t quite put into words our emotions to hear our prognosis.

Helplessness. Grief. Weakness. Uselessness. But also, maybe the word, HOPEFULNESS.

I have tried taking this one step at a time. I have attempted to not be overcome. I have strived to still perform each day to the fullest. Quite simply, I try not to become attached to a child to whom we have not yet given birth.

But, I try to remain hopeful that my wife and I will give birth to a child with one of the three remaining embryos.

What’s Next

This week is transfer week.

When I say it’s the crazy part of the school year, that’s a true understatement for me and my wife.

I’m sure every family undergoing IVF experiences a gamut of emotions, and I am no different. But, mostly, I’m trying to take it one moment at a time. I’m trying NOT to get too excited about the possibilities of this week while also NOT getting too down at any hiccup in the process.

On the other hand, my wife is definitely feeling the emotions. She has had to take vitamins, medications, and injections throughout this whole process that have her emotionally (and sometimes physically) reeling.

Basically, these medications have her body ready to be pregnant. Therefore, she is having all of the emotional and physical ailments as a woman in early pregnancy.

She’s bloated. She’s insecure. She’s nauseous. She’s tired. She’s anxious.

She Deserves The Credit

She is also strong, resilient, and loving.

She continues to go to work and do what she is asked to do while also advocating for her students.

She loves her kids. She comes home telling me their accomplishments. She comes home telling how she wishes she could do something else for her kids. She loves her kids unconditionally and that’s how I know she will be a great mother.

I look forward to seeing her with our children.

Conclusion

“Feeling butterflies” is usually a term we attribute to nerves. But, I get butterflies when I see her caring for young children. Not because I’m nervous, but because I get anxious and eager.

Pray for us this week that our dreams can be made real. Pray for us this week that if things don’t go our way that we will have the courage to carry on not only in our pursuit for children but in our pursuit to teach our students.

I also ask that you be understanding; while Thursday will be our transfer day, we will not know the results for some time.

I hope you got something out of this blog. It is my goal for everyone to treat others with the knowledge that we all have hidden struggles and “secret lives”. If we carried out our days with this mindset, I believe the world would be a better place.

Your support is always appreciated. Send some kind words (especially to my wife) through social media or in the comments section of this blog. Thank you for giving my blog a little bit of your time. I appreciate it.