OMG! Can you believe what he/she did?! Did you hear about (insert teacher name)?

The word “secret” used in conjunction with “teacher” brings about the idea of a terrible stereo-type these days.

The truth is unless a teacher lives a very dark personal life that it may be difficult to have a secret life while teaching. Let me explain why…

Making personal connections with students is a priority for teachers. Students need to know you care. As part of that connection, students become genuinely curious about their teachers.

But, what is ok to share with students? How much is ok to share with students?

What can remain secret and what is beneficial to share?

This is the secret lives of teachers…

MY STORY

I’m married. I’m in my thirties. I’ve been teaching for nearly ten years, but I have no children.

Naturally, my students will ask questions such as, “When are you having kids?” Or even sometimes I get the heart-wrenching question, “Do you not want kids?”

My secret life is that my wife and I have been unable to have children thus far.

In fact, I’ve missed some time from school in the last couple of years (which I hate) by going to different doctors trying to find the reason as to why my wife and I have been unable to conceive.

After numerous tests, the doctors ultimately said that we suffer from “unexplained infertility.” Current technology and testing has not advanced enough to be able to determine why we have not been able to conceive.

Our next stop, which begins very soon, is in vitro fertilization (or IVF). Without going into great detail, it is an intensive process which will cause my wife and I to miss even more time from school, but we hope for a very happy ending at the end of this journey.

As you can imagine, this can be a difficult topic to discuss with anyone.

Personally, I am a very private person. But, I also believe in being open with my students so that hopefully they can learn from my life experiences.

These two factors cause a constant struggle with the question of sharing.

SHARING IN THE CLASSROOM

As far as I have gone in conversation with my students so far is to tell them that my wife and I have had difficulties having children.

What you share with your students is up to you as well as the maturity of your students. I teach a lot of 11th and 12th graders so more topics are possible.

I do not believe there is a perfect answer to how open teachers are with their students. Some teachers can be successful with keeping a completely private life while others are nearly open books.

With that being said, teachers have secret lives, but doesn’t everyone?

One topic that is always a priority in my classrooms is that you have no idea what someone could be going through.

Everyone will eventually be dealing with some kind of hidden burden.

I hope that I reach my students in such a way that in the future they may handle difficult situations with that in mind.

CONCLUSION

If you were hoping for a straightforward answer to how to handle these situations, I’m sorry to disappoint you.

That’s what makes teaching so difficult. Everyone will have their own way of handling things.

Hopefully, though, I have shined some light on the fact that every teacher has some “secret life” that they are dealing with and some days it is easy while other days it is very difficult to handle.

Not convinced yet on the struggles teachers face? Check out a previous blog Top Five Issues Facing Education in Mississippi where I describe some of the non-personal things teachers must handle in the classroom.

MY PLEA

If you’re reading this and believe in prayer, I ask that you pray for my wife and I, but just as important to me, I ask that you pray for our students so that they understand everyone has a secret life that sometimes makes life difficult.

Thank you for your support and share this with a friend.